Why Does My Cat Not Like To Be Pet

There are many reasons your cat might not like to be pet, which is important to remember because no one option will explain the behavior of every cat.

Of course, as a pet owner, it can be upsetting to know that your cat doesn’t want to be pet, but never fear; they may still warm up to you over time. Don’t try to push it and see if they warm up to affection eventually.

The most common reason cats don’t like to be pet is that they weren’t socialized to be a pet when they were young enough. There is a small window of time when cats are kittens where they can be socialized with humans, and outside of those windows, it can be challenging to get your cat to enjoy human attention. Neglect, mistreatment, and medical conditions can all be common reasons. 

Of course, there are plenty of reasons to consider, so we’ve compiled a list of the most common reasons for your consideration.

Reasons Your Cat Doesn’t Like To Be Pet

There are many reasons why your cat might not like to be pet, and each of them needs a slightly different response.

Here’s a good list of why your cat might not want to be pet, or might react badly to being pet sometimes.

You’re Not Petting When Your Cat Wants To Be Pet

One of the common reasons your cat might not want to be pet is simple: you just haven’t found where they want to be pet. Some cats have different preferences, but for the most part, cats enjoy petting on their head and back, but not their tail, stomach, or anywhere else on their bodies.

In some cases, you might want to refrain from petting entirely and see what your cat rubs up against furniture, your legs, or anything else. Their face, sides, and even their neck can be common places for them to rub, and that will give you some clues about where you should pet your cat.

Your Cat Has A Medical Condition

Sometimes cats don’t want to be pet because they have a medical condition that makes it painful or overstimulates them.

Your cat might also react badly to petting, not because the petting itself hurts, but because they are already uncomfortable and don’t want attention. This is very common, especially if not wanting petting is a new behavior for your cat.

They Were Wild Too Long As A Kitten

We already discussed this at the beginning of the article, but it’s important to mention it again.

Cats need to start socializing with humans before they are three months old if they are going to learn how to be good pets and socialize with people. After that, cats will struggle to trust people and won’t typically want to be touched or pet.

This is one reason that cats raised in the wild often can’t be turned into pets. Of course, some wild-born cats are adopted as working animals, barn cats, and the like, but those will only warm up to people in rare situations.

Usually, if a wild cat is adopted, it will learn to feel safer around people and get less reactive and aggressive over time. But they likely won’t become cuddly cats that enjoy petting any time soon.

Your Cat Is Dealing With Emotional Trauma

Unfortunately, one of the truths of our world is that not even cats and kittens are safe from some of its cruelties.

The reality is that cats and kittens both can have trauma and may have been hurt in the past. They might have suffered at the hands of another person, especially if you rescued them from a shelter. Or they might have been bullied and attacked by other cats, which made them fearful.

Other kinds of trauma can also make a cat reject affection and petting. For instance, your cat might not want to be petted for a long time if they are hit by a vehicle or even just left outside for long enough.

Not all cats that go through trauma stop wanting to be petted, but enough of them do that you should be prepared for it if you know your cat has ever experienced trauma.

Your Cat Is In Pain For Some Reason

Cats often don’t want to be touched when they are in pain. This is a defense mechanism to help make sure they can protect themselves well when they are hurt or injured. It’s also a way to help prevent other cats from thinking they are weak and starting to bully them after an injury.

Medical conditions, strained muscles, arthritis, or even old injuries can cause discomfort and make your cat more hesitant about being pet.

If your cat consistently doesn’t want to be pet, especially if they enjoyed petting before, it’s good to take them to a vet. That way, you can check for some common problems and help get your cat out of pain and back to their old affectionate selves.

They Might Be Starting To Get Dementia

Another sad truth of our world is that cats are vulnerable to one of the most difficult diseases out there, dementia. It’s not very common among cats, but it can happen and often sets in in the oldest cats as they start to age.

Like people, a cat with dementia may start to behave unpredictably, including deciding they don’t want to be pet or becoming violent when overstimulated.

The good news is that your cat will likely behave normally at least some of the time, even when they have dementia.

However, if you suspect your cat is developing dementia, it’s time to get them to the vet for a checkup. You can also ask the vet about what you can do, medication options, and how to measure your cat’s quality of life as dementia progresses.

Ultimately, how each pet owner handles dementia in their cat depends on what they want as individuals, and every pet owner might handle it differently.

Ways To Help Your Cat Learn To Love Petting

You can do a few things to help an anxious or hesitant cat learn to love petting.

First, don’t yell at them. Consider other methods of correcting your cat, like ignoring them after bad behavior or a simple calm ‘no’ to help them get more comfortable with you.

When you want to try petting your cat, consider putting on a glove or thick sleeves in case they react badly. Then, go slow. Start by putting your arm near your cat and see how they react. Finally, briefly put your hand on your cat and take it off.

Eventually, you can start petting or scratching your cat briefly to see how they react.

You can also consider giving your cat treats to help warm them up or distracting them with a toy to help keep them occupied and less likely to startle when you try to pet them.